Dear PP,

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee—and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love rememb'red such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

YBJ

birthing pains! sweat, anxiety, i am pissed off, scared,....transition,...I'm a mobile. the last painful push,...

Jigsaw Puzzles

For writing's sake, for staying true to the thing i love, i will write about my recent favorite pass time:Jigsaw puzzles.
i have never really liked puzzles, i hate the feeling that i might not be able to put all the pieces together or that i may fail to finish what i started, but i do them anyway. then i discovered the National Geographic puzzle page,... http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/your-shot/jigsaw-puzzles, the pictures are quite nice to look at and i didn't like the idea of messing them up just for the satisfaction of putting them back together. crazy, but when i first clicked on the first picture and saw the pieces flying in different directions i was kinda scared,..but then slowly i started to put the pieces back together and it's just so cool when i find pieces that fit together, they stick to each other like glue and do not get un-stuck from each other even when you drag the puzzle in different directions.

the frustration is seeing the timer running fast and trying to finish the puzzle in the shortest time,...not finding the pieces i need, only to realize i had passed over them a couple of times. some pieces just don't seem to fit anywhere till you have fitted others and the picture gets more clear and pieces which look they will never find their place start coming together quite fast,...
when i get to the last two pieces i usually wish the puzzle would not end,...fitting the last piece and seeing the picture all come together almost makes me want to cry and it's just the best feeling ever to see the final picture and i kinda want to linger on and bask in the glory of the finished work,...but then there are so many more puzzles to be put together,....every single one i start again with the same feeling of dread and end with a feeling of great satisfaction and joy!

this morning i was thinking of puzzles and just how like my life the are, i know God already sees the complete picture, the end from the beginning, but when all the pieces of my life lie scattered around and look like a complete mess and it seems nothing will ever fit together, when it looks like time is running out and i am freaking out cos the pieces of my life are not yet where they should be, when the fear sets in, i will remember that in his time, God is putting the pieces together, and the ones He puts together find their perfect fit. i have seen the ones that fit, unfortunately i still get anxious about the ones that i haven't seen come together yet.
all in good time all the pieces will come together, i know he feels and even greater satisfaction than i ever will when he sees the complete picture come together, when he finally puts the last pieces in place am sure drums will roll,..and though i will receive great joy and completion, it is his satisfaction to see the final picture of my life unfold beautifully, he rejoices in every piece that falls correctly into place and re-arranges the ones that do not fit right....and so i wait, wait for completion, wait for the pieces of the jigsaw, my jigsaw to fall into place.

I used to love writing, I think I still do. I used to write, I still write, but not quite as often as I did,…so many things I used to do, so many things I used to think I love!!
Life turned it’s sunny side on me and now I love, yes I love, and all other loves come in second best,…no, third best, that’s a lie, all other loves pale in comparison.
Now I love, and there is no comparison, because now I love.